Revival of the times, bring the explosion yo. Sync the heart, mind, soul with the Jesus Heartbeat yo

It seems i cant seem to express my true feelings
Why Why Why
Life is so tough, especially as a Christian

Normally people think that its all flowers and games but it isnt
Knowing the truth i cant ignore it
Take girls for example

There are many pretty girls, and if i wasnt a Christian, i would have toyed with them and taken them for myself. But i cant because its no longer who i am
I am a Christian and i am a protector, lover and brother.
WHY AM I FACED WITH WAR ON A DAILY BASIS

Life seemed much easier when i was winning, when i was a monster at everything i do.
Now i am barely surviving
HELP GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I really question sometimes, does anybody understand me
How many can i really allow myself to be influenced by
I feel buried underneath all this muck
LORD, HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@7:01 AM

The new year resolutions

1. Set God as the center of everything, go even further in my relationship with Him till we are more than inseperable

2. Join a local worship and leadership team

3. Get on the top of dean's list

4. Find a woman who fears the Lord

5. Set up a prayer team on campus

6. Bring forth Kingdom culture into my community

7. Go for radcon and mission trip

8. Learn how to surf

9. Get an eight pack

10. Start cooking a 5 course meal

11. Get a God-given part time job

12. Record an album

13. Do not procrastinate or hesitate to do the Lord's Will

14. Study the old testament through my apologetic study bible

15. Be pleased with my dad

@6:00 AM

Xup man.
I see that its better to be alone
Hidden within the oceans
Amongst the islands
Till i find one who can understands me, O Lord
I will hide my heart

My help i give
My life i shall
But my heart i'll not
Never shall it be bled by another
Never again will any see it but the Lord
Till the day i find one whose worthy
My heart be hid and emotions be led

I will lead my heart while it is hidden
My burdens shall be shared with Lord
For there is none on earth i find able to save me nor help me from my sorrow
Lord, Thy Will be done, not mine.
Take control for i am tired....

@8:49 AM

Xup man, i cant wait to get started on this
What It Means To Be An Evangelist

Some say an evangelist is one who spreads the Word of God. True
Some say an evangelist is just preaching the gospel. True too
Others say an evangelist is one who brings people to church for service. True to a certain extent

In a nut shell, an evangelist is one who shows who God is to others

There is the direct type which is sharing the Gospel and 5 truths with them
There is the indirect type, planting the seed and Word of God by living righteously and showing love to them

There are some who say that one type is evangelism and others the other
However evangelism is a mixture of both.
One cannot live without the other.

Above all, one must show love. And i dont mean the romantic kind.
I mean, one must show the love of God to people at all times. Even when one doesnt feel like it. We are called to show a higher standard. We are called to be more than conquerors, meaning that even in bad times we do not lose. We are still victorious because God has won the victory and we got to act our heritage in Christ.

I mean, come on. We are Christians for crying out loud. We are God's adopted children who have been cleansed from sin and have a relationship with God. Our war over doing right and wrong is already won because on Jesus and we have to act like it. We are called to be the head and not the tail. Thus we are called to be the higher calling.
We are called to show love even when we dont want to.
That is our higher calling.

We got to start behaving victoriously because we are Children of God. Thus means
1. No complaining ( as much i must admit like to do)
2. Start loving our enemies ( another that i dont really like to do)
3. Being exceptional and doing our best in all that we do with God ( something i like to do at times)

I must admit that most of the things are also things i struggle with, but thank God that the standard is not me, if not its a sub-standard. The standard is God's Standard and that is what we are called to live.

Our job as evangelists is to bring love in people's hearts. Doing things that love leads us to do.
We got stop thinking others as just strangers and behave as if they are not part of us. They are flesh and blood too. And if we struggled and hurt before, so do they. Even more when they dont have Jesus to help them.

You know, sometimes we are the only light to them to show them what God's Love is. And most of the times we dont do it. We got to start getting up and start showing love.
Like when was the last time you went to your peers and asked them whether they need help and you're willingly to do it for free.
When was the last time to when to your neighbour's house as say i wanna help you clean your house for free. And if they ask why, say because Jesus loves you.
When do we actually start going out to do selfless things
Come on man. We are Christians. Christ in us

Also as evangelists, we are called to speak with encouraging words to them
Many a times, i heard many hurtful truths, hurtful words, discouraging things from people. In Singapore, to hear praise is like to see cows jumping over the moon. Never happens
Everything has an ulterior motive behinds it.
Come on, love is gentle. And if Love is also Truth, Hurtful truth or loving lies are ironies man.
No one wants to hear about God if what you say or what you live by is not encouraging and positive. Who wants to hear messages that condemns you. Who would ever listen to something that insults you
No, the gospel was never written to hurt or insult but to shed light. Challenge and annoy, i must say sometimes, but to harm you, never. Its often we as Christians who either live an unholy life filled with vulgarities or truancy or deception and all sorts of evil, OR the words we used to bring across the gospel is insulting to others.

You know before i was a Christian, i always heard other Christians talk about Jesus. It made me hate them, Jesus and Christianity. It wasnt until i decided to check out the Bible itself. And boy, what a revelation it was. The jesus that those Christians i met, spoke about was not the same as the Jesus in the Bible. Dudes and dudettes, if you dislike Christianity because of some Christian who brought it across wrongly, im sorry for that ( if its me, im even more sorry). But i challenge you, read the Bible before you make a decision, the gospels part about Jesus or meet with other Christians to bring across the gospel and make comparisons. Because, the God i know, trust and believe in, is the God of Love.

And yes, there is also the direct part of being an evangelist which many people still fail to do.
Introduce the Gospel to them. I dont mean just going up to people as say, do you want to hear about the gospel?.
Dudes and dudettes, once again i ask you. How do you introduce something you like, be it a game or movie or music and so on. I bet you dont just say do you want to right? You incalculate into your conversation and bring it up when you want to. You craft your conversation and introduce it at the right time. And i say you need wisdom in this. There are times where you should not introduce it immediately into the conversation and wait for the next one and there are times to do it. I say carpe diem to this man

And thus, the last thing about evangelists. Evangelists are messengers of God. They talk about God to others be it the 5 truths, bible verses or show it with their life. I tell you the methods are endless but the most important as stated is God. You must have God with you at all times. To lead you and guide you. No God = failed work or wrong evangelism

Thus I end, i will put up the bible verse to back it up tomorrow as in my country, its quite late now.

Later............

@6:58 AM

Xup man, lets start
Normally we always have a question in our hearts, what does it mean to be a pastor, a evangelist, a healer, a worker of miracles, a prophet.
Well here are my insights and truths that i have found

For the first we shall start with a pastor.
Many a times, i question myself. What is a pastor suppose to do. What does it mean by pastors in the new testament as stated in Ephesians 4:11

Ephesians 4:10-13 ( NIV )
So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, ¹² to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up ¹³ until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.
Ephesians 4:10-13

Ephesians 4:10-13 ( Amplified Bible )
And His gifts were [varied; He Himself appointed and gave men to us] some to be apostles (special messengers), some prophets (inspired preachers and expounders), some evangelists (preachers of the Gospel, traveling missionaries), some pastors (shepherds of His flock) and teachers.

¹²His intention was the perfecting and the full equipping of the saints (His consecrated people), [that they should do] the work of ministering toward building up Christ's body (the church),

¹³[That it might develop] until we all attain oneness in the faith and in the comprehension of the [^a]">[a]full and accurate] knowledge of the Son of God, that [we might arrive] at really mature manhood (the completeness of personality which is nothing less than the standard height of Christ's own perfection), the measure of the stature of the fullness of the Christ and the completeness found in Him.

Ephesians 4:10-13

According to the dictionary, a pastor is defined as

1. a minister or priest in charge of a church. ( ok...maybe )

2. a person having spiritual care of a number of persons. ( in a shortened sense yes)

Yet according to the latin origin, pastor is referred to a person who is a feeder or a shepherd, which is reinforced in the Amplified Bible.

So i say to ye that a pastor is as what is stated a shepherd of the people. In modern day term, i would say, an overseer. A person who watches and cares for the people which does not literally translate to doing everything alone

Take for examples the pastors of the past such as Moses who was not only a prophet to the Israelites but also a shepherd to them.

For pastor does not naturally mean just a person in full time ministry although it is usually the case since the burdens are so heavy.

1. A pastor is also an overseer, dealing with the general administration and planning but also to the cases which the leaders he has delegated, cannot handle.
- A pastor is one who is required to see the general picture of the church as well as plan the general direction and the specific process to get there.
- Before such, one normally thinks that the pastor's job is to just prepare sermons for one day of the week and poof, he slacks the rest of them
No, such a simple ideology is just an illusion.
A pastor is also required to deal with the handling of troublesome cases that are even out of the delegated leader's reach. Which i might add, is also very tough to deal with

Besides that, upon the administration part. Even though, it may not be just the pastor handling it alone, it is still his job to see that little things such as attendance, guest speakers arriving on time and cared for, finance are dealt with accordingly, the direction they are headed is according to what the Lord wants, newcomers are taken care of, the progress of each individual as well dealing with each question that the younger leaders may not be able to solve.
Such is what should part of the knowledge within a pastor should consist about

Continuing on,
2. A pastor is also supposed to inspire, motivate and grow young leaders or to put it better, the people under him.

- Its not just the pastor's job to run everything smoothly.
Delegation and leadership go hand in hand. Especially when taking care of large groups of people. A pastor needs to be able to set the example of not just being up there but to be human yet choose to live towards a higher calling. He is one that sets the standard of the church and its people. For a the people's growth is what the leader makes of it. And i tell you, its not easy to pastor. Taking a look at the lives of pastoral friends as well as those that i know, what they are doing is tough, not just during the good times but even tougher during the bad.

When shepherding the people, one must understand the generation and the culture that they live in yet go against the wrong values that are part of the current culture.
Culture is not eternal but the values we choose to make it is, according to the choice of the individual. That is why it is important for a pastor to inspire and challenge the people they are given charge of. So that the church that both the pastor and the people build is not one that represents the world but one that represents God and Kingdom culture.

3. Lastly, another role of the pastor is correct and protect his people from wrong influences as well from those who try to destroy them.

In this day and age, against the people of God, the enemies are large.
There are people in workplaces, schools, families, friends, organisations and much more that persecute them. There also many mediums that try to invoke and destroy good values, dreams and even hopes that God has placed within our hearts.
We should take a more active role in showing love, especially God's love by standing by those who are hurt and those who attacked, that they may fall.
Its the pastor's job to encourage and bring hope and build up truth within us through the Word of God, so that we may be strengthened against such attacks and during hard times we do not fall due to the lack of faith and the lack of being equipped.

To the people, this is why it is also very important to listen carefully to sermons, because each pastor, God has given a Word for that day. And though we may not be able to understand how to apply it immediately, it serves as our foundation and eqiupment as we fight against those who come against us and try to break us down.

Besides the verbal aspects, as pastors, we should also help in the physical aspects, being active within ministries as well standing with the people when they require help.
By doing so, it represents the protective aspect of a shepherd.

Thus as i come to close
I bid thee farewell
May the information imparted be of use
As its been a few days, i may have missed out certain stuff
To the appropriate teachers and audiences, may your comments to this be as constructive as it should be
For now i say to thee

Later........

@5:49 AM

Xup man, this week has been quite an exciting but tiring week
I dont know how many times i faced trials and struggled countlessly
It seems that i have no end to the troubles that plague me
While im glad i have much responsibilities, i am sad that i have no end to it
When will my holiday be?
My sleep gives me no rest
There is peace in me through troubled storms and i wish the winds and waves to cease
I shall start my story

Monday and tuesday were OT days
Although i know people go through more but i doubt i get and similar rewards from OT unlike them. Army is tough and im struggling to do the right things
I sometimes think that im falling away cause i dont seem to be growing at all
All the self control and complaining. What kind of Christian am i?
I dont have discipleship nor do i have encouragement
My back is full of holes that people think im a porcupine with a needles in reverse
And my needles are not just from backstabbing but other struggles and conflicts of the people around me
I know God has called me out to the center stage and i cant deny it cause it is the way He made me. But also being in the spotlight means i am an open target to be shot every moment. Some people get it daily, yet i have no rest
I am either fighting, planning, complaining, blessing and acting in God's Will. Rest and rejuvenation doesnt seem to fit into my schedule
The cries of people have no end, even if i limit it to a small group, their troubles never end, giving me unending responsibilities
I am overworked and i need help
(btw overwork differs from people tolerancea and endurance levels)
Mine currrently due to being used daily is quite short now.
I say HELP GOD!

Lifegroup was awesome though i came unprepared
I am glad i brought gary cause this is what he needs
Acceptance and belonging
As a church i believe that we are suppose to be a place where there is no judging of people but acceptance of who they are and encouraging them to live a life and life to the fullest
As for myself i still struggle with this as my past experience tells me so
But i will say for this, i will strive on to accept people regardless of what may happen and regardless of how many times i fail

Last 4 days i've been having frequent nosebleeds. Its quite bad as im feeling lethargic and dizzy. Did i lose too much blood? Im going to see the doctor tomorrow for advice. Not cool man
Besides that, went to visit yuxian grandmother. Im glad i went cause he needs support and i believe that all Christians, as representatives of Jesus Christ, we should be there for him. God, i know yuxian is going through a tough time and i want You to help him. I obeyed your commands and this is the result so i did my part, now do Yours. Make the miracle happen. Protect yuxian and his family. and if you call me, i will go and be there for him, if not i will go anyway.
Its sad i didnt get as close to yuxian for him to trust me, its one of my regrets if you ask me
You know everywhere i go, its seems people look at me, believing that i have something good for them. I think they are seeing You Lord in me, but i sorry for the times that i was too cowardly to do something about it.

Recently, i have also gone to see kakak and the kids. Taking care of them is hard but fun, Im glad i went this week. The kids managed to learn one thing which is that the Lord is their Helper so they will not be afraid. Hebrews 13:6. Cool stuff
Preparing stuff for them. Very cool

Today, i went for a family gathering at both sides. Im glad i went cause it seems that they really need You Lord. I thank You for the eyes You've given me to pierce through the heart and soul to see everyone for who they truly are and what they truly need. God, its hard but i thank You. I thank You i could impact them, the kids, my cousins, my uncles and aunties. Though i have reservations and hesitations about what You want me to do and what You have in stored for me.

I choose to look forward in advance to see and grow in You
Jesus, Father, Lord, i thank You

(especially that finally PD is finally free to watch the movie materials i have prepared for him and the church. Yay.)

Later..................

@7:19 AM

Xup yo people, the B-man is back from my long journey of sleep
Just watched To Save a Life movie
And that was a total rocker.
We're gonna move in big things now man
Check it out.
1. Impact lifegroup
2. Impact church
3. Impact Singapore
4. Impact the world

Qn. Impact army?
Unfortunately i want to say no but the big Boss wants me to. Sooo........... i think i'll say yes
I dont really like army, i dont like the culture, i dont like the evil jokes people are doing that tears everybody down. I dont like the politics of backstabbing and having masks and favourtism.

I dont wanna be like the world that seeks and kills and destroys like the devil
I dont wanna lead a life that is just fine
I wanna lead an awesome life that says PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!! AND ROCK ON JESUS
Soooo, im gonna be who i am called to be
I AM GONNA BE BRYAN, the MOST AWESOME RADICAL CHRISTIAN EVER IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD. IM GONNA BE A JESUS FREAK AND REACH THE LOST AND HURTING
I AM GONNA USE MY GIFTS AND SKILLS THE WAY GOD WANTED ME TO
I AM GONNA BE A IMPACTER FOR CHRIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There's too many people hurting out there to keep me silent anymore
There's too much people searching for love and no one to show it to them
Well, if there is no one, there at least will be me. a Jesus warrior

The Fire is back!!!!!!!!

(btw i got 98% for my FTE. PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Later..........

@4:21 AM