Xup man, most of the time its not easy
It gets really boring when i try to be human even though i totally dislike it
Come on, who likes to spew disgusting words that pollutes the soul
Who likes to talk about obscene stuff like my peers do and mean nothing about
Ignorant is not bliss, it is irritant
Its not easy being me
I cant speak like the way i want to because there are yet to be ladies who appreciate such stuff
The language of gentleness and love is not often accepted too by my male peers who fail to understand the poetry and maturity when one builds another instead of break
Although most of the time i have to hide my words behind simple complexities ( Ironic as it sounds) and subtle masquerades, my words still hold a bit of gentleness and builds people up with a minute sting to couple it
Life is hard, but if God is with, it is worth it
Later.........
@6:51 AM
Xup man, i always wondered why am i given more than enough
More work than enough as well as more blessings than enough
Not many people know the pain i go through nor the burdens i carry
Its because i have suffered much i love much
I am most in debt has much thanks to give to He would saved me from my misery
Lets start with work
When i do it to perfection, i am given more to do. Not necessary what i want cause i have better things to do, but yet i have to do for the sake of my Father who loves them. Yes my work is people.
If work was an achievement, i would have achieved it.
If work was a material gained , i would have gained it
No, it has to be something more challenging, impossible and unreachable
A treasure that cannot be easily attained nor easily taken
People, the most troublesome things i know hahahahaha
Everytime, to listen to their whims and to fill the gaps in their hearts, its an honor and joy for me to do so.
But when crunch time comes, sigh, its tough
Take for example today, i had to deal with one of my past failures that failed to care for, his vendetta against me was high and mighty, striking me with every fallibility of mine
Pain and pain, yet God protected me
Who knows how i'll ever recover if my God did not protect me and shield me with His Love
Or take the ignorant of heart, or the stubborn ones.
Children are awesome but kids are not always that awesome.
God save them, please
Well onward to blessings
God has given me more than i can have. One thing i got to say is love
I was a man of hate and anger, shown by the black flame.
But God saved me and replaced my hate and anger for love and grace through the forgiveness He gave me on that cross.
Awesomely totally rad
Thats probably one of the greatest blessings i have.
Not to mention the current ones i have now,
I am called to heal the hurt of people, to protect the weak and oppressed, to guide the lost to Him, to be a light that shines that no man should have a reason to fall
To stand firm and pick people up. What a rad job i have
I am also blessed with friends that will hopefully grow into comrades, like isaac, tim, edwin, tom, glyn just to name a few
I also had the honor of meeting people from the lower strata of society and the higher tops as well such as hairi, gary and the gang , and from the better off side, alodia and ashely to name a few.
Such blessings they are even with the pinches of salt and pepper
Continuing on to the pain,
There's probably isnt a pain greater than having experience a minute pain that Christ faced
Nor is there any other fear so strong that it can scare a man who has been resurrected by Christ
There isnt a situation i have yet to face
Struck and betrayed, outcasted and beaten, bullied and persecuted, not to mention the experiences i gained through my ability to understand and feel the pain that others gone through.
Yes it is a gift from God, quite good for understanding other people.
Lastly we have the burdens
Burden of raising the kids
Burden of being a role model
Burden of doing God's work
Burden of being called from multiple places
Burden of fighting myself
Burden of seeking knowledge and growth
Burden of not being understood
Burden of this and that
Although people may claim my strengths are many compared to the rest, my weaknesses are much more. I can say so and boast so proudly because its My God who trains me and gives me the strength to do it. The good i do, you probably see is not by my own strength but He who lives in me and gives me the grace to accomplish the mission that is given to me. My calling
And faith is the evidence of things i cannot see. Yeah faith is the confidence that You are holding me.
Later people........................
@4:01 AM
Xup man, exams are finally ending. Woots
Its seems that i havent been myself lately.
Its kinda sad , but im glad im finally going back to training
There seriously isnt anything better than being in the Lord's Presence and doing the Lord's way.
Yes im planning to get back to the Spirit but i'll be back to fulfill my missions
Look forward to the people i'll be working with and the difference i'll be making for the Lord.
Im quite tired trying to fill the gap in my heart, and though it seems that no one will be there to pick me up.
I know my God will provide for me all that i need as He promised in Matthew 6:33-34
My God is my Provider
I want to learn Your Name O Lord, for its fun and it gives me joy
I want to be strong because my God is strong and i inherit all that He has and He is, because i am his son
Though i tread through this battlefield and the path is long
My friends and my comrades, where are they? I cannot see
Lord You are my Guide, as long as You remain in me, i will succeed.
Its time to unite O my soul, awaken awaken from thy sleep
wake thy hands and wake thy feet, for we shall work in the vineyard of the Lord
No job too great too small to do
My God, I trust in You
In recent news i see that the North is attacking the South
Looks like i awoken at the right time.
Its time to give aid, and a time for peace
To give hope the hopeless and joy to sorrow
Why is war a reason to fight.
A war fought for human reasons is not one to make
Rather war against the evils and principalities of this world
Against the evil rulers of the spiritual realm, we shall fight
Not against one another,
For what good does it bring, biting and tearing and each other
Think, i say think
For such foolishness leads to destruction.
My friend my foe, human you shall be
Mistakes made should be forgiven,
For the sword kills the body, but Love kills the sin
And without sin, the soul is free
Redeemed by the Blood of Our Saving One
Upon death of a cross, His Blood saved us
Enough for the past, the present and to be
What grace is shown by Jesus alone
That love is God and God is Love
Love conquers all
@5:03 AM
Xup man,
recently it has been a downer
I got my exams next week and yet i dont feel confident in tackling the papers.
I feel quite incompetent actually. My lack of ability of memory and application have increased over years
I attribute it to my fall and struggle with countless temptations that have befuddled me throughout the ages
Sometimes i wish i was made a perfect being or at least one without these weaknesses. Man, being a boy is easy especially being selfish but being a man? Now thats tough
Thankfully God has changed my nature and its really sucks when i have to actually exert force upon people.
Cant people be cooporative and trusting to one another? Doesnt anyone know that working together in sychonisation is the best and most effective method of teamwork? Like take a look at the Israelites when they were rebuilding the Lord's Temple during Asa's Time.
They neednt have a lock over their treasury because the workers took what they needed only so no accountability was needed.
Another example would be Australia before modernisation. Did you know that people would leave empty milk bottles outside their houses with money in their postboxes to pay for the milk while the milkman delivers full bottled milk to their houses everyday?
Like totally wow-ness man.
That is the most efficient system i have ever seen. And exactly as i envisioned.
I bet most of you people, and i include my family and friends, dont even know my nature or the weight of the burden i carry. It sucks when people try to assume that they know you but they dont. Like come on, ask some questions. Its not like i wont reply them.
The most annoying thing is that no questions, no answers given and no improvement
It also sucks when authorities abuse their power and also when they dont use it at all.
Totally man, what are they asking for? Must i or the rest of my comrades exert the authority given to us? Crudness man.
Dont look at it the wrong way, i dont mind doing work but i sure dislike having to fix messes that dont improve themselves.
You know after the war when all the work is done. I will probably be a muse and sing and dance all day long in praise to God. Woooohoo. Cant believe i have to miss out of meeting another muse due to my exams. Totally uncool.
Oh by the way, here's a secret
When i say im tired. I do not literally mean that im fatigued im in. Rather im tired of the situation that no improvement has been done to help it. It also means im gonna go into my serious mode and fix stuff
When i say im sleeping, it means im tired hahahaha
For now, chao people
Later....................
@9:32 AM
Xup man, i thought that it would be nice to show the rising trend of reaction to the opposite sex
1991 - All forget it
2000 - Girls are awesome stuff
2001 - Any girl whose pretty and kind is more than enough
2002 - Foreigners ROCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2003 - Cute locals too
2004 - HAREM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ( Im sorry but its a normal guy's dream)
2005 - Dating age
2006 - Tired of competiting, God made 1 girl for me
2007 - Purity one man one girl
2008 - Plan for future
2009 - Too many temptations, must filter
2010 - Raises standard. Wife level standard
i shall expound on 2001 onwards
2001- Knowing that girls are awesome people, must choose the best for the best
2002 - Well most princesses i read about are foreigners + they could have awesome personalities until i watched the teen movies of disney channel
2003 - Met some cool people but then realised that God was not leading me to them. Looking back now. YESSS!! I did not succumb to temptation
2004 - Acquired the skills to be the top guy but after filtering, nadah
2005 - My buddy did the work for me except for group dates
2006 - Thought of having multiple dates, too troublesome. + not gentlemanly and does not suit my nature
2007 - Decided become the most awesome man for the most awesome girl
2008 - Preping myself + training stage
2009 - Wow to redheads, blondes, brunettes, asians and wow totally awesome. Immense temptation there
2010 - Slaps myself. Woo i didnt go over the edge. Too close for comfort. Return back to true form and here i am now
Thank You
Later................
@9:19 AM
