Revival of the times, bring the explosion yo. Sync the heart, mind, soul with the Jesus Heartbeat yo

Xup man, this week has been quite an exciting but tiring week
I dont know how many times i faced trials and struggled countlessly
It seems that i have no end to the troubles that plague me
While im glad i have much responsibilities, i am sad that i have no end to it
When will my holiday be?
My sleep gives me no rest
There is peace in me through troubled storms and i wish the winds and waves to cease
I shall start my story

Monday and tuesday were OT days
Although i know people go through more but i doubt i get and similar rewards from OT unlike them. Army is tough and im struggling to do the right things
I sometimes think that im falling away cause i dont seem to be growing at all
All the self control and complaining. What kind of Christian am i?
I dont have discipleship nor do i have encouragement
My back is full of holes that people think im a porcupine with a needles in reverse
And my needles are not just from backstabbing but other struggles and conflicts of the people around me
I know God has called me out to the center stage and i cant deny it cause it is the way He made me. But also being in the spotlight means i am an open target to be shot every moment. Some people get it daily, yet i have no rest
I am either fighting, planning, complaining, blessing and acting in God's Will. Rest and rejuvenation doesnt seem to fit into my schedule
The cries of people have no end, even if i limit it to a small group, their troubles never end, giving me unending responsibilities
I am overworked and i need help
(btw overwork differs from people tolerancea and endurance levels)
Mine currrently due to being used daily is quite short now.
I say HELP GOD!

Lifegroup was awesome though i came unprepared
I am glad i brought gary cause this is what he needs
Acceptance and belonging
As a church i believe that we are suppose to be a place where there is no judging of people but acceptance of who they are and encouraging them to live a life and life to the fullest
As for myself i still struggle with this as my past experience tells me so
But i will say for this, i will strive on to accept people regardless of what may happen and regardless of how many times i fail

Last 4 days i've been having frequent nosebleeds. Its quite bad as im feeling lethargic and dizzy. Did i lose too much blood? Im going to see the doctor tomorrow for advice. Not cool man
Besides that, went to visit yuxian grandmother. Im glad i went cause he needs support and i believe that all Christians, as representatives of Jesus Christ, we should be there for him. God, i know yuxian is going through a tough time and i want You to help him. I obeyed your commands and this is the result so i did my part, now do Yours. Make the miracle happen. Protect yuxian and his family. and if you call me, i will go and be there for him, if not i will go anyway.
Its sad i didnt get as close to yuxian for him to trust me, its one of my regrets if you ask me
You know everywhere i go, its seems people look at me, believing that i have something good for them. I think they are seeing You Lord in me, but i sorry for the times that i was too cowardly to do something about it.

Recently, i have also gone to see kakak and the kids. Taking care of them is hard but fun, Im glad i went this week. The kids managed to learn one thing which is that the Lord is their Helper so they will not be afraid. Hebrews 13:6. Cool stuff
Preparing stuff for them. Very cool

Today, i went for a family gathering at both sides. Im glad i went cause it seems that they really need You Lord. I thank You for the eyes You've given me to pierce through the heart and soul to see everyone for who they truly are and what they truly need. God, its hard but i thank You. I thank You i could impact them, the kids, my cousins, my uncles and aunties. Though i have reservations and hesitations about what You want me to do and what You have in stored for me.

I choose to look forward in advance to see and grow in You
Jesus, Father, Lord, i thank You

(especially that finally PD is finally free to watch the movie materials i have prepared for him and the church. Yay.)

Later..................

@7:19 AM

Xup yo people, the B-man is back from my long journey of sleep
Just watched To Save a Life movie
And that was a total rocker.
We're gonna move in big things now man
Check it out.
1. Impact lifegroup
2. Impact church
3. Impact Singapore
4. Impact the world

Qn. Impact army?
Unfortunately i want to say no but the big Boss wants me to. Sooo........... i think i'll say yes
I dont really like army, i dont like the culture, i dont like the evil jokes people are doing that tears everybody down. I dont like the politics of backstabbing and having masks and favourtism.

I dont wanna be like the world that seeks and kills and destroys like the devil
I dont wanna lead a life that is just fine
I wanna lead an awesome life that says PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!! AND ROCK ON JESUS
Soooo, im gonna be who i am called to be
I AM GONNA BE BRYAN, the MOST AWESOME RADICAL CHRISTIAN EVER IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD. IM GONNA BE A JESUS FREAK AND REACH THE LOST AND HURTING
I AM GONNA USE MY GIFTS AND SKILLS THE WAY GOD WANTED ME TO
I AM GONNA BE A IMPACTER FOR CHRIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There's too many people hurting out there to keep me silent anymore
There's too much people searching for love and no one to show it to them
Well, if there is no one, there at least will be me. a Jesus warrior

The Fire is back!!!!!!!!

(btw i got 98% for my FTE. PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Later..........

@4:21 AM

Xup man
I tell its not easy being a Christian man
Its like the hardest job ever. And Lord i know You keep telling me to press on
Its hard, and not just that its totally tiring.
What are the people around me you placed for?
What have they done but puncture my back?
Even after all the efforts and cooperation they still have not evolved further
Where is the growth. I feel so depressed and sad sometimes you know
I feel like giving up but i thank You that have not given me a spirit that breaks under pressure
but a Spirit that presses on and refines itself under trials and tribulations
You have made me to grow deeper in You andi thank You
For You are my Encourager, You are my Strength
You are the reason i press on through these storms and winds
And though the mountains and waves they pile high against me
In the Name of Jesus i will break them and silence them for good

For You have called me to heal the brokenhearted, free the captives, save the lost, lead the blind, heal the sick, be the father to the orphans, to be an example to the rest.
And that encourages me to press on
You know Lord, i wish sometimes You would place a friend or give me a partner to share my joy and trials with
And i dont mean acquaintances or people i known for a long time when i mean friend but in my type of definition
Friend is comrade for life
Lord i still want a mentor, i know you given me kong sheng and kenneth
But kong sheng has his stuff and is always too busy, kenneth got his army
Even though i can be accountable to them, i still cant trust them as much as i would want to
Lord this is my cry with the world as the witnesses
Give me a teacher, a partner, a love and an encourager
That i may continue the race relentlessly
I already have many running beside me and many running behind me
But i want someone to look up to, to mentor me and teach me new stuff that i may miss out and be accountable to me as i am to him/her

You know Lord, the world seems so strange that i find myself a stranger. I dont belong to the gossips, the soccerfans, the arrogant, the gamers, the geeks, the elite, the outcasts, the middleclass, the silverspooners, the poor. Each of their personas and attitudes are not similar to mine. Yet in songs created by those who love you, i find kinship with that worship
Lord, its seems funny and weird but cool at the same time
I dont really know how to put it in words but i'll do my best

This year will be the year of explosion
Last year was revivial and it was cool
Honestly i didnt think pastor matt was a cool person, i always thought he was a stuck up person who hangs out with those elite and i still have that impression but i think he does take time to fit with the poor too.
Lord, i still dont get the favoritism part you stated in
James 2:1-8
My dear brothers and sisters,^i]">[i] how can you claim to have faith in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ if you favor some people over others?

² For example, suppose someone comes into your meeting^j]">[j] dressed in fancy clothes and expensive jewelry, and another comes in who is poor and dressed in dirty clothes. ³ If you give special attention and a good seat to the rich person, but you say to the poor one, “You can stand over there, or else sit on the floor”—well, ⁴ doesn’t this discrimination show that your judgments are guided by evil motives?

⁵ Listen to me, dear brothers and sisters. Hasn’t God chosen the poor in this world to be rich in faith? Aren’t they the ones who will inherit the Kingdom he promised to those who love him? ⁶ But you dishonor the poor! Isn’t it the rich who oppress you and drag you into court? ⁷ Aren’t they the ones who slander Jesus Christ, whose noble name^k]">[k] you bear?

⁸ Yes indeed, it is good when you obey the royal law as found in the Scriptures: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”^l]">[l] ⁹ But if you favor some people over others, you are committing a sin. You are guilty of breaking the law.

James 2:1-8

I dont get it to whom you are referring to, cause honestly there are people i dont favour at all and there are those that i would shower much love upon and those i would shower nothing but dislike. If it refers to favouritism as whole then im just as guilty of being one of those. Cause its hard to love everyone equally. But if its just the rich over the poor then i am innocent cause mine is vicey versa. or it would be those who are needy over those who greedy/evil

You know, i wonder how many people actually appreciate the stuff i've done. Cause its like one second everyone's all happy and praising the next minute, would be blades getting pierced through my back.

You know how it feels to be backstabbed, abandoned, hurt and persecuted Lord. You know what it feels to be poor and outcasted without a friend in the world. You know how it feels

So i cry out to You for help, for You are not One who sympathises with me. You empathise with me and correct me with love. You do not shove truth without love but You reveal the truth to me with love. You do not hurt but You cut off the ungodly stuff without sharp precision for my sake. You heal me Lord, You save me Lord.
Rescue me from this plight im in Lord, for only You are able.

Give me joy that no one else can give, i bring my case to You Lord

Help me, I need You Lord and I want You to help

And i thank You beforehand for the soon-to-happen rescue and strength to carry through

For You will carry me on, on eagles wings and i will soar the heavens and high above the skies with You. You will take off my burdens and share them and teach me more.
This I yet praise and thank You in Jesus Name

Today........

I visited B. Rixiang at NUH. Hope he enjoys the orange juice. hahahaha. Its better than saline water for sure hahahahaha. Before that, met joseph for lunch which made me late for one my lessons. :( But i rocked out the practice sessions. Ha i shall be prepared for the next EV sessions man. Yeah

That kinds of sums up today
I shall update as the time comes to

For now i bid thee adios, aligos, amigoes

Later..............

@5:48 AM

Xup man, today's jamming sessions was totally cool man
We had it at Chapter 6 and sang quite a number of songs
It was sad that it was short but its was quite cool
I got to use a mic again after soooo long man
I should seriously invest in a mic soon man
Learned that kai kee is a pianist and sageet had an awesome but shrill voice
Hoo cant compete when she goes all out, probably knocks out all the sopranos i know hahahhaha
Looking forwards to the uploads. When that's done, i update soon
Later.............

@8:18 AM

This will be a year of the Lord's favor.

I will obey His Will and accomplish it with my life

1. I will forgo my bad habits

2. I will attain access to all notes and have perfectly tuned ears

3. I will lead my small group of posers from glory to glory

4. I will join Z3 ministry and dance ministry

5. I will impact and strengthen the pastoral team

6. I will regain my guitar skills

7. I will be a model

8. I will not be afraid of my fears of height, loneliness and claustrophobia

9. I will learn to be humble

10. I will learn to love others

11. I will alleviate my rage and learn to be more patient towards others

12. I will lead, teach and disciple people to the Lord

13. I will see my grandmother get saved

14. I will pass my driving test on the first try

15. I will change the unedifying joke culture of my lifegroup

16. I will stop running away and face my past and overcome them

17. I will protect God’s people

18. I will teach others about God

19. I will use my leaves and off in army for missions and radical conference and not for myself

20. I will show the non Christians, the world is not about themselves or money, its about God

21. I will complete the Love Dare challenge 365 days

22. I will follow the Bible Reading Plan as well as what God gives me

23. I will not be late in meeting the Lord

24. I will be punctual

@9:35 AM