Close All

Drat... today was so demoralizing
Free period was so boring cause there aint anything to do and too much free time
So many ppl were doing their homework
Only at the last minute i had sum1 to tok to about stuff

Due to that, at chapel i couldnt use all my voice to praise the lord
and it was like only half strength.
Sickens me to the core. I dislike the irritating satan
I pray god will give him the retribution he deserves soon. During maths i could almost sleep, a down attitude plus a long eqation which i knew how to solve. I felt so tired listening and listening

Home econs some of my classmates were distinctively rude, taking pens and pencil like i was some kind of living pencil box, most irritating. but the good part was that music was super magnific. Its was beautiful
Too bad that i have to do the lifeskills proj tmrow but oh well

With my heart gone now i care for no one but the lord and myself

Tear out my heart
Rip off all emotions
Burn it all to crisp
Its completely a waste
to worry bout things that arent real
Waste is the energy used
but i'll still do it
Unfortuante yet regardless

Harsh words are like swords
but now instead of loving
I love no one but god
Irritants is what you all are
and i dont like bugs on my path
so either move or get stepped on

Urghhh its always painful when i look at u all
just get out of my sight
it sickens my blood causing all insights to burn out

Sad excuses and false hopes high
Just as the yoyo goes up and down
so does life
low and high
Pains in the heart is such a bother
but only a huddle in life
Love passes so quickly by
too bad it aint mine
Everyone is just like a dime
waiting to be picked
but i aint no mimic
Im gonna be a dollar
values are more
then anytime before
Reason why you ask?
Lets just be frank and reflect
that this is just a tiny speck

You're it
You're the ultimate
It's automatic.
I'm sure of it
No lie
So don't even try
To tell me that you're not the gal
Cuz I've been waiting all my life
For someone just like you
But you're it
You're the ultimate, you

Bloody pissed
i though i tore out my heart the last time i met you
Cant believe for such a small matter i was worried sick
Im completely disgusted at myself for succumbing to emotions so easily
It was a complete waste of my time
Yet for some reason
your presence burns me and yet when your gone im boiling
I dont even know why but only when you smile, its relaxing

50 000 slaps on me
50 000 punches on me
50 000 kicks on me
50 000 bullets on me
NOW!!!!

After that i had such a bad neckache like the dagger stabbing through my neck, crushing on bones. The pain was so irrevocable that i had to crush bottles. Everytime i think about it, a 100 needles is plunged into my neck. The pain is too much yet just much to forget the thought

After that i planned to go to the library but unfortuately i was 30 mins late. But irritance is when my friends suddenly made a last minute change on the plans.WADS YOUR PROB!!! YOU ALL SAY NATIONAL NOW YOU ALL DONT WANT TO GO. WHAT KIND OF BULLSHIT IS THAT!!!
Nevermind. may the lord bless them
Regardless im going to visit all 3 libraries starting from wed
Bukit merah, national and jurong
Im gonna study and study till im gone
Sorry for lying yesterday coz i prefer to exit b4 rejection
I hate rejection the most

Whatever fate the lord decides

I will follow and do his will

Church of fishermens is where i have been
Discussing matters of the bible
Suddenly out of the blues that many of the signs have passed
The holy day of the lord is here
Praise the lord!!! The grape juice store was opened finally after weeks of waiting. I wonder what happened to the uncle but at least hes back and i will get to enjoy my morning Praise the lord for he is good and reward those who walk in his ways. After that i had a fun time cleaning the house of the lord. Though i never liked cleaning, I felt a great sense of joy and belonging. Teens fellowship is coming back up again and we are discussing about the offerings whether we should pay up all at once or do it bit by bit.
During the my training at my fathers friend centre, I revised through the science and gained more knowledge then i could in school. How i wish my science class in school was like that at the centre. Science would have been so much fun. I miss that thing not even for the increase in stats. During maths lesson my teacher was quite fun. I had the most difficult questions which were set for special students only. Huge amounts of joy leapt into my heart as i slowly concentrated at scored majorly for those questions. My peers there were much better and more sophisticated then anywhere else i know. I had so much fun pitting my wit aganist various other schools just like my childhood days.
After that my mum messed up the dinnner so i got a chance to help out in the kitchen and make a magnificent pork chop and delicious steamed fish. It was like a meal fit for kings. These few days im going to quieten down and study solo as it always benifits me more than studying with others espcially people who are more immature and less sophisticated. After dinner i had to study till 12 and from now on, none of my friends are allowed to come over since I have to study hard and reach the amount of points to transfer out of my current position. I feel like that there is some place as well that fits me better that old fairfield. Not that i have anything aganist it but even though i love fairifield, it isnt the best choice for me to study in.
As for the transfer i had to use my old funny looking photo since i didnt had time to go to clementi to get a new one. Sadly that photo held on to many memories which i felt like burning it and scatter the ashes into the four corners of the earth. Though i knew that it would turn out like that but god has his own purposes and he must have a better purpose for me. Though im a little irritated by the happy go lucky immature attitude of soph and chris it doesnt really matter much. Probaly they were just trying to lighten the load which was quite nice of them too. After that i am now concentrating fully on my studies. I also managed to pass the cards to yuhua,evelyn,kimberly and matthew at church. Bless the lord for that as well as the gifts he gave me. Remember that every gift that is given should be used. Unfortunately today, my guitar broke so i was quite deperssed and sorrowful. My heart was deeply hurt by the events that happen today but at the end of the day, my father god managed to encourage me with studies and more knowledge. Its getting late, im going off then....later

Today i realised something
My class isnt that bad after all
I think i was too fumed to think straight the last time
Without the class i wouldnt have met new friends
and know more about the rest
My apologies

Today maths was quite intriging
1st there was the surprise of sitting with siew yi and dawn
another is that most of my class came
but the most surprising is mr ganesan
I went and memorized all the most difficult equations
and i could have avoided wasting my time writing a 100 phrases
When mr ganesan called me i was quite confident i could answer whatever difficult question he ask like the solid surface area of a hemisphere or the solid surface of a cylinder
but in the end he asked me the most simplest question of all
what is the curved surface of a cone
and i messed up big time
it was quite humiliating

Unfortunately during maths, i had a frost bite on my leg
and boy did it hurt
I think my leg became super stiff until i went out
but at least it aint broken of anythin
PRAISE THE LORD

After that i had a long lecture with my father for some reason
but then hes giving me his ikea membership
WOOOHOOO

All that i am
Never cease to worship you
SHOUT TO THE LORD ALL THE EARTH LET US SING
POWER AND MAJESTY
PRAISE TO THE KING
MOUNTAINS BOW DOWN AND THE SEAS WILL ROAR AT THE SOUND OF YOUR NAME


Yea!!!!
Ok 20 more days
must work super hard and memorize everything
CHARGE!!!!

After hours of thinking
I dont think i can improve if i sit around and let others do the work
As well as chargin head on without experience
I should have actually humbled myself and increase more
instead of playing a fool
I now see that arrogance and pride has led to my downfall
since it has affected many badly
I wont do such things to affect my friends
If i am ever boast about anything
i aint the fire
Neither shall venom spew from my mouth

I wonder why some people are petty over small stuffs such as games
There is a saying that says
why make something big when it is small
I hope you will acknowledge this and change for the better

Some people are upset over expressions and low attention
but its quite normal
and its isnt something to be afraid about

There are also some who are blinded by pride and arrogance
that causes them dire consequences i myself know how it feels cause i fell due to it
There is a saying from soloman
Humble yourself and follow the lord
The fools talks big but a wise man keeps quiet
Success come to those who wait
while failue is for those who acts

After reading that i felt to reform
so here i am
once again

Now is the exams
so its time for all of us to study
The reason why i rarely smile and never tell any jokes or play around
is because i cant do it now
and it aint the time for it(from my point of view)
Study hard play later a saying from those of the old
lol

Today started out so fresh and nice
Beautiful was the day when the sun shined out
But i think i should have accepted that offer miss lim gave last time
How come 2b never win
this isnt a good image of me

During Maths i was quiet lucky that mr ganesan didnt ask for the maths worksheet
and thanks again soph for giving me the hw info
Without her help i might have been skewered by mr ganesan
but alas now its when im gonna get killed
My father is ravaging mad that i scored a mere 20 for the maths test
Even my mom is upset

Science test was quite hard
There were many MCQs that i didnt know like the 1st ques
and i studied super hard
but may the lord bless me

English was chaotic
I made a terrible mistake in choosin my group
I saw truly in my eyes
that those i once called friends are nothing but junk
Selfish little brats
and complete irritants( nt including the girls)

Art
is the worst
I had so many failuers
and many inconsiderate classmates
Im highly appalled that there are girls who arent lady-like
Yuck i dislike tomboyish girls the most
but at least there were some true friends i saw
I wish my father would help me forgive
I was luckily that only true friends and good friends of mine are coming
Im never going to make such a lousy mistake again

Luckily there was no chinese remidial and i didnt get scolded
Also i found my file
Yeah
I got the swimming shirt and the band woohoo

Just found out one of my pals name
Patricia
wat a beautiful name for someone as lovely as yourself
Swan among the ducks
Swift yet graceful
humble yet strong
But the voice
It pains my ears
Silent beauty is what u are
The fire shall be upon you
alas its a impossible fate
Destiny binds me away
and ice freezes all around me
Get promoted to express k?
then it might be possible
Lets play badminton sometime
later

Today out of art
comes a shirt of blood
stained with red yellow and orange
Fear creeps in
slowly into the hearts of everyone
like a plague thats lauched
that even superiors appalled

Out of the pain comes a light
Fear no longer touches her
From the same schs as the flame
Steps out and face the fear
Shame runs away from this body
Happiness chases the sadness away
Love kills the hatred inside

Fire has returned to the rightful side
Bless the lord

Two princess of water
Which is for the fire
1 fire+ 2 water=???

By the science teach words
and the smile on her face
I need not fear losing anymore
Take A Chance
Use the risk
Believe In God
And Believe yourself

today huh
I cant believe that i would be so unfortunate
but as they say
nothin done nothing gain
aiya i should have use some initative
and chose my members quickly and carefully

Lifeskills
now thats one of the most embarrasing momments of my life
My group havent even started on the lifeskills assignment
and there is no way am i going to get anything lower that a distinction
and also i couldnt believe i acted like a kid during lifeskills
how childish i was
hope ppl will forget that unruly immature act of mine

During sci remidial
Managed to get some info on how to get into the tri sci class
and follow the tradition of my family
Also i made a huge sin
I lied to kiefer
coz i broke up long ago already
Hope the lord god almighty will forgive
I wonder....
i know this round im gonna live up to all my friends expectations
Maths science english chinese geo art music
IM GONNA SCORE DISTINCTIONS FOR ALL OF THEM
THIS I PROMISE IN THE NAME OF THE LORD
LORD HELP ME!!!

G WE WANT TO SEE

D JESUS LIFTED

Em HIGH

A BANNER THAT

C FLIES

D ACROSS THIS

G LAND

THAT ALL MEN MIGHT

D SEE THE TRUTH AND

Em KNOW

HE IS THE

C WAY TO

D HEAVEN

G WE WANT TO SEE

D WE WANT TO SEE

Em WE WANT TO SEE

C JESUS

D LIFTED

G HIGH

(REPEAT)

STEP BY

D STEP WE'RE MOVING

Em FORWARD

LITTLE BY

D LITTLE GAINING

Em GROUND

EVERY

D PRAYER A POWERFUL

Em WEAPON

STRONGHOLDS

C COME

TUMBLING

D DOWN AND DOWN AND DOWN AND DOWN

Today i received back the maths test result
and it was a sure bummer
I didnt score well at all
I only got a mere 2o
how am i suppose to show that to my family
its so humilating

The chinese test
man that was hard
but it was a bit more easier that the last

Ahh i hope the lord blesses my class and become A*
hahahaha
aiya during chinese class i was so steamed
and stupid alex somemore had to irritate me
Then out of the sudden
the stupid demon had to make a reapearance
but thanks to the lord i survived
WOOOHOOO
IN YOUR FACE STUPID DEMON!!!IN YOUR FACE!!!!

These few days are getting harder
so many tests to study
and my pup keeps bugging me on full marks for sci and chinese
now thats harsh
I wonder whether this year's reward is going to be good enough
rofl

Oh ya
i saw the lovely princess again
from the highest accesible part of the school
lol

Geo was a rush la
but manage to finish just in time
I wonder how come miss toh skip the geo class again
wat!? does she want to fail me again
lol
that will never happen as long as im alive
hahaha

HOME ROCKS
I got to meet another famous gamer
called wilson
I rule the ps he rules the xbox
lol
but still it was fun
and i also got a new disciple
YEA!!!

Oh ya 1 more thing to all those people who keep pestering me for no reason
STOP TALKIN BOUT THE PAST

glad thats over with
but to be frank
after school wasnt all that great
Dumb santan had to inflict jeaously into me
I wonder why but on the homeward path
was filled with couples
even my best pals shan long had a girlfriend( sorry but christians always keep secrets)
Its quite irritating to feel so lonely
nevermind i must concentrate for these few days

I must follow my family tradition
and also bring glory onto my clan

Today was great
during chapel we sang all my favourite songs
espicially one way
and we sang the still
1 of my favourite comforting songs

CHAPEL ROCKS

After chapel the maths test was quite a rush
I had to answer lots of questions at a fast rate
I wonder whether mr ganesan will accept all the shortcuts i made in the test

The home econs test was quite easy
even though I thought it was quite hard it was at 1st
Praise the lord for helping me to pass my exams
I hope it will turn out top

During music
the music video that i saw was quite nice
it was about tap dancing and irish music
It reminded me of the time my mom whistle that tune to me
just to help me sleep
but then i had a most terrible pain in my head
like electric shock
I thought i was gonna die like the incident when a guy suddenly died due to a explosion of his brain cell
but thank the lord that i lived

Oh ya during the chapel i saw my swimming pals again
I think xinyi demature from when i last met him
and the other one(whom i 4gotten the name) became so much more mature and b********( my pals will kill me if i write that word so best let it be)
lol

Today im gonna buy the the invitations and i'll pass them to the last 5 people who are coming
the rest are not invited
coz too many people

Today my bro told me that i was too humble
and we high-class people should always be competitive and thrash people
plus we must never hang around noobs
but i wonder
isnt that arrogance?
Quite confused
Should i be like my bro
I know same rank as him
but then about the promise i made
its quite hard to do both
even though i dont mind thrashing people

God enlighten me

During the bus
it was atrocious
I was touched by an unclean hideous detestable beast whose features are too disgusting to describe
I had to go and bathe 3 times before the fingerprints were gone
YUCK
I nv ever gonna sit on the upper deck of the bus unless there is a extreamly good reason

Now im studying
chinese
hope the lord helps me again this time
I wish the lord would open my eyes and i would be able to see who are my real friends
its quite foggy these days you know
and may he protect me

GOOD LUCK 2B FOR THE SCIENCE AND CHINESE EXAM!!!!

Ahhh its done
The mask in undone
all the words i use to mask
I use my own words
and thanks to the lord i dont think i feel anythin about her any more

man today is such a drag
Its was such a good day in the morning
During P.E
man was i drenched
Of all the times it had to rain
and i had to play
yuck the rain stinks

I never once liked playin in the rain
but tennis was quite fun
I wonder how come siew yi cried today
but i'll pray my father will comfort her

Oh ya during geo class
joel had to be such a busybody
snatching my cards and passing out to every1
urghh so irritating and childish
I HATE IT when my plans goes astray
I almost let my anger get control over me
but luckily my father came to my rescue and subdued the anger after chinese period

After that we had to listen to a world class sportsman
He achieved many things i wanted to achieve like cycle all the way to bejing
that was what rocked the most
but at the end of the talk
I couldnt believe my ears that the source of bad mouths
was my friend
I couldnt believe she would actually bad mouth me
I feel so annoyed and irritated by her
Im not good?
If im not good and im neither evil
then what am i?
but whatever she said it doesnt matter
One must never be proud and unforgiving
so at least this is a 1st step
though its still hard to forgive her

The thought of it sickens me to the stomach
The amount of betrayal was quite great
but may the lord help her control her words as well as control my anger

After that i had to go 4 maths remidial
I had 5 min to eat and rushed all the way up
Luckily i didnt puke though i felt like it
Praise the lord

Everyone work hard for the exams
and dont forget to come to the party
lol

man today is getting worse by the minute
During church i was pulled out by my friends
to join them in praying to kneel down which was quite disturbing with people looking at you from all the corners of the room
after that, my legs were quite painful
so now i cant do much running
quite unfortunate
but the good part was i managed to weaken those barriers that keep the words i want to say locked up. I cant believe my pals lied to me
they said they were playing in my church i guess i shouldnt have trusted them
Later i was late to go to my tution classes as the jam in the city was major
but then when i came back
my mp3 was gone when i needed it
May god strike his hand aganist satan
Then today
most people i talk on msn were like such a snobby attitude
even for those who called themselves my "friends"
even the person i liked was like that
I cant believe them it was so outrageous
but yet out of the few only my best pal cheryl was nice to me
I wonder whats gotten into everything today
its like the world has turned onto me

Oh ya and today in church i found out i was quite a proud person
If im ever like that
dont hesitate to tell me
I promise I'll never beome proud and unbroken
I gotta remember to be humble and broken
Nowdays its quite hard to talk to anyone as they all turned sour for anything i say
Trusting people is turning out like trusting snakes
I wish all my pals would just be nice

May god bless all my friends and everyone i know in studies and in health

Today was quite unexpected
The whole class had to stay back for four hours
but mr ganesan was entertaining
and we all had a great time
i had to spent all my time rushing and sprinting
lol
I dont even know how i got so much energy but it was fun

As today was great so was the other side of it
During the entire day
there was some sort of leak in my eyes
like the glasses in my eyes were broken
and all from in the vault leaked out profusely
It was quite a trouble getting rid of the unknown liquid
but surprisingly it dissappeared immediately when i was in the bus stop
It was like the barriers restood it normal state
During the leakage
I felt somewhat sad
and longing to return back to the cross section and choose the other path
but when i was out it was gone

I wonder........
was this a illsion that thawted my mind and clear thinking
but alas i have no time to dawdle on this matter as the exams are approaching ever so quickly
I hope that the people tomorrow would accept the item i am giving them

The barriers that keep the words from my mouth have become to weaken
but yet unfortunately some words were exchanged a few weeks ago which almost ruined everything. I know that sometimes it hard to keep a secret but yet it is upsetting that people would betray and ruin a good ending

Once the exams are over it would be the day
I would see all my friends coming to visit
I wonder whether this year I would be able to make new friends
but alas it hasnt been achieved

The collon was quite delicious today
Tomorrow im still choosing whether to go to my old church and visit my friends
or should I continue with my bible studying at my current church
Luckily that is just a minor decision as i will praise god from anywhere and everywhere YEA!!!

It seems i have to go now
later...

Today was quite ok
but too much homework
I guess i have to break my limit and rely on my father lord strength now
May the lord bless my friends and me

This time 2B will thrash the rest of the sec2s in acadamic!!!
Yea!

I think the lord has already erased the memory from my mind
I dont feel pain or anguish
and failue no more

but now im just a servant of god

IN CHRIST ALONE WILL I GLORY

THOUGH I COULD PRIDE MYSELF IN BATTLES WON

FOR I'VE BEEN BLESSED BEYOND MEASURE

AND ONLY BY HIS GRACE I'VE OVERCOME

O, I COULD STOP AND COUNT SUCCESSES

LIKE DIAMONDS IN MY HAND

BUT THOSE GLORIES COULD NOT EQUAL

TO THE GRACE BY WHICH I STAND

IN CHRIST ALONE

I PLACE MY TRUST

AND FIND MY GLORY IN THE POWER OF THE CROSS

IN EVERY VICTORY

LET IT BE SAID OF ME

MY SOURCE OF STRENGTH

MY SOURCE OF HOPE

A

IS CHRIST ALONE

IN CHRIST ALONE WILL I GLORY

FOR ONLY BY HIS GRACE I'VE BEEN REDEEMED

FOR ONLY IN HIS TENDER MERCIES

COULD REACH BEYOND MY WEAKNESS TO MY NEED

NOW I SEEK NO GREATER HONOR

THAN JUST TO KNOW HIM MORE

AND TO COUNT MY GAINS BUT LOSSES

TO THE GLORY OF MY LORD

Im getting back to my old self
im going to concentrate on my studies now
ah it feels so good
but i dont know why i was so concerned today
over someone i dont even recognise
I wish my friends would snap out of their delusions and concentrate on their studies
May all my friends attain greatness
though the road of greatness is hard and the my efforts cannot make a signify anything much
i will do my best

I felt extreamly stupid in science remidial
every look is painful
her actions are disturbing to my presence
her voice though sweet stabs the quiet peace that holds me together

Everytime her name is said
i remember what a fool i was
to find out that she was just playing with me

I wonder how she is so charismatic
yet with a heart of ice
that melts when the fire is strong

That which pains
is that which stops all change
if only forgetfulness will come and wash that pain away

Today till 2.15 was fun
unveil the mask of hatred aganist the class
will be that of will which will help the class

Red rose like a thorn
found within the most venomous thorns and deadly colourful flowers
found again
Yes im am legend the one you saw last time
and here i am once again

Things get so complicated
try to unseal the lid inside of me
yet also im trying to score high for my acadamics
such pains i go through everyday just to achieve this things
Today i almost gave up on |-|||
but my father god gave me the strength to move on

Today my heart managed to experienced happiness once
even though it faded out at the end of the day
you know...,
these few days has been quite tough
but im getting better at managing
though i still am trying to get rid of that accursed ****** inside of me
but with you gone its getting harder


Now i look back at all the happy times i had with you
and all the times i wasted my thoughts and my concerns on you
those sleepless nights i used to ask my father to help you
but i guess it was actually a waste since i was trying to do something impossible
I look back and see how i was so foolish
but theres 1 last thing i have to say to you
which is that
i thank you for what you done
and i have always loved you

jus forget everything that happen in the past few days
I just lost the battle and lost my will yesterday till today chapel
so forget it
I dont want to remember what happen